Sometimes referred to as relationship abuse, domestic violence or intimate partner abuse, the term ‘domestic abuse’ refers to:
An incident or pattern of incidents of controlling, coercive, threatening, degrading and violent behaviour, violence or abuse, between those aged 16 or over, who are or have been intimate partners or family members, regardless of gender or sexuality.
Some of the terminology and concepts around domestic abuse may feel alien to you, as there is a pervasive stereotype of domestic violence happening only within heterosexual couples, a male perpetrator of a female victim-survivor. It’s often envisaged that this couple are older, live together, are married, have children.
There are many abusive relationships that fit this description, and it may be that this reflects your situation. We also wanted to recognise that many students have experienced/are experiencing domestic abuse within their relationship or family that look different to this.
It disproportionately affects female survivors and those with marginalised identities, with a majority of male perpetrators. It forms part of a continuum of gender-based violence and inequality.
However, anyone can survive or perpetrate domestic abuse and we are here to support members of the Bath Spa community who experience it, regardless of sex, gender and other identity characteristics.
There are many abusive relationships that fit this description, and it may be that this reflects your situation. We also wanted to recognise that many students have experienced/are experiencing domestic abuse within their relationship or family that look different to this.
It disproportionately affects female survivors and those with marginalised identities, with a majority of male perpetrators. It forms part of a continuum of gender-based violence and inequality.
However, anyone can survive or perpetrate domestic abuse and we are here to support members of the Bath Spa community who experience it, regardless of sex, gender and other identity characteristics.
Domestic abuse can take many forms, some of which we explore below, and there are lots of resources to look further into what might indicate that a relationship is abusive. Many of these elements of abuse are not physical, but might be emotional, or financial, and might be an ongoing pattern or an individual incident. All elements of relationship abuse ultimately come down to one person exercising power and control over another person.
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Domestic abuse refers specifically to relationships between adult intimate partners or family members, whether or not they are living in the same household. It does not refer to bullying or harassment from friends or housemates – if you are experiencing this, there is more information about support for students experiencing bullying and harassment here.
What are the forms of domestic abuse?
There are many forms of abusive and controlling behaviour, and these are some categories of abusive behaviours with some examples. These are not exclusive or exhaustive but meant to provide some prompts which you might use to reflect on your experiences within your relationship.
- A pattern of intimidation, degradation, isolation and control with the use or threat of physical or sexual violence
Emotional Abuse
- Making you feel bad about yourself, playing mind games and gaslighting you, threatening to harm or kill themselves.
Intimidation
- Making you feel afraid through threats, violence, damaging property, or stalking.
Minimising, denying, and blaming
- Making light of abusive behaviours, saying they didn’t happen or don’t matter, or saying that it’s your fault that their behaviour is abusive.
Economic Abuse
- Controlling your spending, preventing or requiring you to have a job, interfering with your work or education, taking money from you.
Digital Abuse
- Requiring access to your personal accounts, posting about you online in ways that you don’t like, sending messages pretending to be you, using spyware or tracking your devices.
Physical abuse
- Physical assault or harm of any kind, such as hitting, punching, slapping, burning, scratching, hair pulling, kicking.
Sexual abuse
- Any sexual contact that happens without your consent. Being in a relationship does not automatically grant consent. Consent requires freedom and capacity - for you to have freedom and capacity to consent to sexual activity, you need to be fully awake and aware of what is happening.
You need to be able to make a choice about whether or not to engage in sexual activity, free from coercion, pressure, being forced or manipulated into it. - Where you don't consent to sexual contact, this constitutes sexual harassment (physically and/or online), abuse, or rape. Read more about sexual violence here.
- Sexually abusive behaviour also includes your partner making sexual demands which you may feel obligated to fulfill
- Any sexual contact or behaviour which causes you to feel in (non-consensual) pain or unsafe in any way.