Safety
- Are they in immediate danger? If they are in immediate danger or seriously injured, you can call 999 (or 112 from a mobile).
- Find a safe space - If an incident has just happened, try to help them find somewhere they feel safe.
- If this isn't possible and they are scared or fearful, you can suggest they call Security on 01225 875555 (if on a Bath campus) or the Police non-emergency number 101.
Supporting them
You may be feeling a range of different emotions about someone you know going through something like this.
There is no right or wrong way to feel and however you feel is ok.
It can be difficult to know how to help and it’s important to let them guide you in what feels right for them.
We’ve listed below some key points for supporting someone effectively:
• Listen and remain calm.
• Believe what they say.
• Let them know you are there for them.
• Reassure them that their feelings are normal, and that they are not to blame for what has happened.
• Be patient, open-minded and respect their decisions – they may not react how you expect and that is ok – there is no right or wrong way to respond to trauma. Everyone is different and it may take time for them to process what happened or feel ready to make decisions about next steps.
• Encourage them when they do want to take steps but are finding things difficult, but make sure not to put any pressure on them to make a particular decision or act more quickly.
• Give them choices – it’s useful for them to know their options for reporting to the police, to report to the University (if the perpetrator is a University student or staff member), and specialist support options – but it’s ok if they opt not to do any of these things or don’t want to do them right away.
Support from specialist services
Support options are outlined in our article ‘I think I have experienced domestic abuse’ which you can share with your friend.
If they are a Bath Spa student, you can fill in a Request Contact from an Advisor form with them or on their behalf, with their permission, so that a Gender-Based Violence Caseworker/Sexual Violence Liaison Officer can reach out to them directly.
You could also help them to contact via MyWellbeing if they prefer.
Sometimes it’s difficult for someone to take the first step on their own and arranging for a support service to get in touch with them proactively can be really helpful.
Please ensure that they are happy for you to fill in a form on their behalf, and indicate this on the form so that the GBV Caseworker/SVLO can respond to them directly, confident that they are expecting to be contacted.
You could also help them to contact via MyWellbeing if they prefer.
Sometimes it’s difficult for someone to take the first step on their own and arranging for a support service to get in touch with them proactively can be really helpful.
Please ensure that they are happy for you to fill in a form on their behalf, and indicate this on the form so that the GBV Caseworker/SVLO can respond to them directly, confident that they are expecting to be contacted.
If the person you’re supporting does not want to be in touch with us for support and you’re worried/unsure what to do, you can submit a Request Contact from an Advisor form yourself, for us to contact you.
Note that we cannot guarantee confidentiality for anyone named in the report, if there are risk concerns.
Given we want survivors to feel in control and their wishes to be respected, we recommend that you don’t include their name or identifying details when you contact us for advice.
Further information about supporting someone who is or has been experiencing domestic abuse:
Note that we cannot guarantee confidentiality for anyone named in the report, if there are risk concerns.
Given we want survivors to feel in control and their wishes to be respected, we recommend that you don’t include their name or identifying details when you contact us for advice.
Further information about supporting someone who is or has been experiencing domestic abuse:
- If they are a woman, Refuge has resources on ‘supporting a survivor’.
- If they are a man, Respect: Men’s Advice Line has resources for friends and family.
- If they are LGBTQ+, Galop has resources for friends and family.
These resources can be useful regardless of the gender or identity of your friend.
Your own wellbeing
Hearing about domestic abuse can be really upsetting, and it’s important that you make sure that you also look after yourself.
If you are a Bath Spa student or staff member seeking support, our advisors can connect you with further support available here at the University. You can connect with them via the Request Contact from an Advisor form.
There may be an equivalent service of this kind at your university if you are studying or working elsewhere, or there are national services to support you such as the 24/7 Samaritans helpline.
If you are a Bath Spa student or staff member seeking support, our advisors can connect you with further support available here at the University. You can connect with them via the Request Contact from an Advisor form.
There may be an equivalent service of this kind at your university if you are studying or working elsewhere, or there are national services to support you such as the 24/7 Samaritans helpline.