It is essential to recognise when our behaviour is hurting others.
Whilst seeking support for this can be daunting, support is available; engaging with what has happened is vital to ensure effective change.
As a first step, we recommend Requesting Contact from an Advisor (this will connect you to Student Wellbeing Services) in a non-judgmental space.
If there are risk concerns, we cannot guarantee confidentiality for anyone named in the report.
If someone has told you that you have hurt them
- Listen to them without interrupting.
- Take time and space away from them if you need to process what you’ve heard or are feeling angry or upset.
- If they need time and space away from you, accept this and do not put any pressure on them.
- Take responsibility for the hurt which they have described.
- Be led by them about what should happen next – be prepared that one or both of you may want to end your relationship.
- Take actions to understand your behaviour, the impacts, and how to navigate future intimate relationships – there are resources here to help you.
Support for you
- The University has a range of wellbeing support.
- The Respect Phoneline offers support if you are worried about your behaviour and you want to take steps to change. They have a lot of resources about relationships, as well as a confidential and anonymous phoneline.
- The Hotline also provides support for people exploring how to change their behaviour. They offer a comprehensive guide to planning and goals around behaviour change, as well as a non-judgemental phoneline and live chat.